Keeping No Record of Wrongs

I find it remarkable that when I think of an event I have believed was long forgotten I can still feel the sting of betrayal that comes with it. No matter how many times I remind myself that I forgive the person, no matter how many times I forgive myself the betrayal seeps back in. Once again I must approach the thrown of grace as for repentance and forgiveness, and forgive myself.

I know plenty of people who hold on to memories of hurt or betrayal. Motivated to seek revenge or simply to never forget; they grip those memories tightly often using them to deflect anything or anyone from causing that type of pain again. Essentially they cut of all emotion with regard to a similar type of situation or person.  Through this they preserve themselves, protected by their pain, and suffering. They say that it no longer affects them and yet their actions still speak loudly of the opposite. They refuse to forget, and essentially deny the offender, which is sometimes themselves, the forgiveness and love that they desire and need.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is sought, fought for, and given, but the attributes of love listed above are words of action. Part of loving someone is keeping no record of wrongs. As Christians we are instructed to “forgive one another” (Matthew 6:14; Ephesians 4:32). It is a command from God that we forgive each other, but as with all commands the choice is ours. We can state that we forgive someone, but within our hearts retort, “I will never trust them again because of blank-ity blank.” Or the next time something happens the forgiven offense reappears on the rap sheet. I believe that in order to forgive someone truly and to be free of the long suffering, from bitterness, anger or the like, that follows we should look at what forgiveness from our father looks like.

“For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” – Hebrews 8:12; Jeremiah 31:34b

Our Father is all knowing and told us that we will all fall short of His glory (Romans 3:23). However, in his act of forgiveness, God treats us, His sons and daughters, as though the sin had not occurred. For those of us who belong to Him through faith in Christ, God does not hold our sins against us.

“I don’t deserve what you’ve done for me,” I said.
“Of course you don’t.” He Smiled. “If you deserved it, you wouldn’t need it. And I wouldn’t have had to die to give it to you.”

“But if you knew all I’ve done, all that’s inside me…”
“If? Do you still not understand? I know everything. I’m never taken by surprise. There are no Skeletons in your closet. I took care of them all. You were wrong – I don’t expect the impossible of you. But I’ve done the impossible for you.”

The Chasm – Randy Alcorn

God, acted in love, and forgave us. He removed the skeletons from our closet, the sin that would separate us from him, once we asked for forgiveness and received it. God showed us love on the cross, in his death, and that he would do what we could not for our sake as well as his. Part of this love, was choosing to see us as though we are pure, and spotless, through the blood of Christ.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4:32

If we look back at Hebrews 8:12 God not only forgave us but he remembers the sin no more. The two go together. Forgiving and treating us as though the offense had not occurred. It is in this way we should forgive others, living as if that sin had never occurred.

I will always remember the actions of betrayal that I have faced, and I may never forget the pain that it caused, but I am charged with loving those individuals, and in part living as though the sin had never occurred. It is very difficult, but as time has passed, and the wound has begun healing, the sting is less and less when the memory arises, and further more it is easier to forgive and live as though it never occurred. Not acting as though, holding onto the memory, but living as though the sin never took place, so that as time passes the memory can fade.

Today I choose to forgive, to love those who have wronged me, and to live as though the sin had never occurred. And tomorrow if the same or another memory shall arise, or an offense occur, I will choose to do the same.